They say
What to say when an employee says “Nobody told me that before.”
When an employee says nobody told them before, check whether the issue was discussed clearly in an earlier conversation. If it was not, acknowledge the delay while still addressing what is happening now.
Your response
“Let’s check when this was discussed before. If this is the first time I’ve raised it, I should have addressed it sooner. We still need to talk about what’s happening now.”
First, check this
Can you point to an earlier, clear conversation about this issue and the expected change, or did you assume the employee already knew?
Why this works
Surprise feedback may reveal a management failure even when the current concern is valid. Checking the history prevents the manager from inventing earlier clarity after the fact. Acknowledging delay does not erase the present issue; it separates responsibility for raising it late from responsibility for addressing it now. This keeps the page about feedback timing rather than disagreement with the observation.
Don’t say
“You should have known without me telling you.”
If they push back again
“Then why is it suddenly a problem now?”
You could say
Because I should have raised it earlier and didn’t, and that’s on me. It’s still affecting the work, so I’d rather deal with it now than let it go another six months.
After the conversation
- Record today’s date and the standard you’ve now stated, so there’s a clear starting point for any later review.
- Tell the employee how long they have to make the change before you’d treat it as a performance concern.
- List other issues you’ve been noticing but not raising, with this employee or others, and raise them within the month.
Questions managers ask
Can I hold someone to a standard they’ve never been told about?
From now on you can, though judging past work against it is unfair unless the standard was so basic that anyone in the role would know it. Once you’ve stated it clearly, you can expect it. Even for basic standards, a dated conversation now is better than assuming they knew.
What if a previous manager tolerated this behavior?
Treat it as new information for the employee, because in practice it is. Explain the standard you’re setting now and why it matters. There’s no need to criticize the previous manager. Say clearly that their approach isn’t the one that applies from here on.
Is it my fault for raising feedback months too late?
Partly, yes. Late feedback gives people no chance to adjust and makes the issue look bigger when it finally arrives. Say so, then change the habit by raising small concerns within days while the example is fresh. The employee still owns the behavior, and you own the delay.