They say
What to say when an employee disagrees with your feedback: “I don’t agree with your feedback.”
When an employee disagrees with your feedback, ask where their interpretation differs from yours, listen for information you may have missed, and explain how you reached your assessment.
Your response
“Tell me where you see it differently. I’ll listen to your examples, and then I’ll explain what I’ve seen and how I reached my conclusion. We may not agree, but I want to make sure I haven’t missed something.”
First, check this
Can you support your assessment with specific observations, and are you willing to change it if the employee provides relevant information you did not have?
Why this works
Disagreement is not the same as an accusation of unfairness. Asking where the employee sees it differently requires them to identify the observation or interpretation they dispute. The manager can then explain their own reasoning and correct it if necessary. The purpose is not to force agreement; it is to make the feedback accurate, clear, and usable.
Don’t say
“You don’t have to agree, but this is how it is.”
If they push back again
“We’re just going to have to disagree on this one.”
You could say
We can disagree about how to read it, and I still need the change I asked for. Let’s agree what you’ll do differently and look at the results together in a month.
After the conversation
- Write down the examples each of you gave, including any that changed your view, so the record isn’t only your version.
- Check any facts the employee disputed with the original source, such as the client or the data, and report back within a few days.
- Review the same kind of work together in a month and compare it with the change you agreed on.
Questions managers ask
What if the employee convinces me my feedback was wrong?
Withdraw or rewrite the feedback in the same conversation. Changing your mind because of new information is good judgment. Tell them what changed your view, and if the feedback went into a review or record, correct that document as well as mentioning it aloud.
Does an employee have to agree with feedback for it to count?
No. They have to understand it and act on it, and agreement is welcome when it comes. Check that they can describe the change you’re asking for in their own words. If they can’t, the feedback isn’t finished yet, whatever they think of it.
Should I bring in a second opinion when an employee rejects my feedback?
Sometimes, if the disagreement turns on facts someone else saw. Asking the client or a colleague who was there can settle it more fairly than you arguing for your own view. Tell the employee who you’re asking and why, because a quiet check behind their back will look like building a case.