They say
“I refuse to work with them.”
What to say when an employee refuses to work with a coworker: first determine whether they are describing ordinary conflict, possible misconduct, or a safety concern. Misconduct or safety concerns require the appropriate escalation route, not a normal conflict script.
Your response
“Before we discuss the work, I need to understand the reason for your refusal. Are you describing ordinary conflict, possible misconduct, or a safety concern? What happens next depends on that answer.”
First, check this
Does anything the employee has said suggest harassment, retaliation, threats, discrimination, other misconduct, or a physical or psychological safety concern?
Possible misconduct or a safety concern
Misconduct or safety concerns require the appropriate escalation route, not a normal conflict script.
Ordinary conflict or distrust
Why this works
A refusal may arise from an ordinary breakdown in the working relationship, but it may also be a warning that normal conflict advice is unsafe or inappropriate. The manager must identify which situation they are dealing with before pressing for cooperation. Credible misconduct or safety concerns require the organization’s proper reporting and escalation process. Only an ordinary conflict should continue to the related page about what the employee has already tried.
Don’t say
“You don’t get to choose who you work with.”