They say
What to say when an employee says “You always take their side.”
When an employee says you always take their side, ask which decisions created that impression, explain how you reached them, and check whether you have treated similar conduct differently.
Your response
“Tell me which decisions made you feel that way. I’ll explain how I reached them, and I’ll look seriously at whether I’ve been applying different standards to the two of you.”
First, check this
Have you repeatedly accepted one person’s account, excused similar conduct, or expected this employee to make most of the adjustments?
Why this works
A claim that the manager always takes one side cannot be resolved by declaring neutrality. Specific decisions can be examined. The employee must identify the pattern they see, and the manager must test whether comparable behavior received comparable treatment. That leaves room to correct real partiality or explain decisions that were different for relevant reasons.
Don’t say
“That’s not true. I’m completely neutral.”
If they push back again
“You never even asked for my version.”
You could say
If I didn’t, that was a mistake. I’d like to hear it now. Tell me what happened from the beginning, and I’ll weigh it before I decide anything further.
After the conversation
- List the last few decisions involving both employees and check whether you heard each person’s account before deciding.
- Ask a peer manager or HR to look over one of those decisions if you can’t judge your own consistency.
- Tell the employee within two weeks what you found, including anything you’ve decided to change.
Questions managers ask
What if I really have been favoring one employee?
Be honest with yourself about it, then fix the pattern along with the latest decision. Look at who gets the benefit of the doubt and who gets heard first. Change how you make those calls, and tell the employee you’ve reviewed your decisions and what’s different now. Quiet overcorrection won’t convince anyone.
How do I stay neutral when I get along better with one employee?
Build habits that don’t depend on who you like. Hear both accounts before deciding and write down the reason for each decision. You can get along with whoever you get along with, as long as the decisions themselves would look the same with the names swapped.
Should I explain my past decisions when accused of bias?
Keep it brief and stick to the decisions they name. Explain the reason you used at the time and whether you’d decide the same way now. If one doesn’t hold up, say so, because admitting a bad call does more for your credibility than defending every decision on principle.