They say
“Why are you singling me out?”
Your response
“Tell me what has made you feel singled out. I’ll look at whether I’m holding you to a different standard. I also want to discuss the specific feedback that brought us here.”
First, check this
Are you monitoring, correcting, or challenging this employee more than others whose comparable behavior you have overlooked?
Why this works
The employee may be trying to escape the feedback, but they may also have noticed a real pattern. Asking what made them feel singled out gives the manager something concrete to examine. The manager can then test their own consistency without abandoning the original concern. This page is about perceived personal targeting; the related ‘everyone else does it’ page is about whether a team-wide standard is being enforced consistently.
Don’t say
“We’re talking about you, not everyone else.”