They say
“That’s unfair.”
Your response
“I want to understand what feels unfair: the standard, the examples I’m using, or how the process was handled. Let’s take those one at a time. If I missed something, I’ll correct it. If I haven’t missed anything material, I’ll explain why I’m not changing the feedback and what we still need to address.”
First, check this
Did you apply a clear, relevant standard consistently, and can you support the feedback without comparing this employee with coworkers?
Why this works
It treats fairness as a claim to examine rather than an objection to defeat. Naming the standard, evidence, and process gives the employee a concrete way to challenge the feedback and gives the manager room to correct a real inconsistency. It also keeps this conversation distinct from simple disagreement: the question here is whether the judgment was reached fairly.
Don’t say
“You may not like it, but that doesn’t make it unfair.”